Tattoos and Taboos

I find it a bit bemusing that a couple was arrested for tattooing their kids in Georgia, and I think this is an odd sort of case worthy of a day's discussion. Here are the basic facts as I understand them from the news:

 

• The kids are aged 10-17.
• Each of the kids who were inked requested the tattoo.
• The youngest child in the house was not tattooed.
• At least two of the kids are not biologically theirs (meaning biologically the progeny of both tattooists; the biological mother of two of the children noticed the tattoos and reported the couple to the authorities).
• The parents used a homemade tattooing gun (with a guitar string needle).
• Neither mom nor dad is licensed to do ink.
• Tattooing a minor is illegal in Georgia; the articles didn't say whether or not a licensed shop can perform a tat on a minor with parental consent, so for the purposes of this blog, we'll assume the answer is no.
• The charges against the parents are primarily related to the illegal tattooing of minors and tattooing performed by an unlicensed person.

 

I'm not debating the arrests as improper; an unlicensed person giving tattoos in an unsterile environment using make-shift equipment is dangerous. These people are lucky the kids have not developed infections, and I sincerely hope none of them have any kind of blood-borne disease that would show up later. To me, this is reckless. If they wanted to tattoo the kids, they should have taken them somewhere that allows underage tattoos with parental consent so it could be done in a hygienic environment by a licensed artist.

The debate arose the other night, though, over whether or not parents should be allowed to tattoo their kids in the first place. My personal belief is that yes, in general, you should be allowed to tattoo your kids in a safe way. As I quipped Monday over burgers, you should be able to stamp a barcode on that baby's foot the minute it’s born. I won't recite the debate, but I'm curious to see the reactions. People view children very differently in different cultures, and I have the feeling I view them differently than many of my peers.

I tend to take a longer view of child-rearing than most Gen-Xers and later. I don't believe the hype that a parent can't or shouldn't ever strike his child. I disagree that we should shelter them from the whole world, stopping them from making their own mistakes. Sure, it's natural to feel guilt after hitting the child or to feel pain when they hurt because they couldn't see the bad consequences coming. It's natural to want to protect them, even from themselves and the painful parts of growing up.

We extend childhood into college now, and people aren't seen as "ready" or "capable" of much until after graduation. We view all forms of corporal punishment as abuse. We think that, if a child cries, we must go to great lengths to make sure it never feels this pain again. Sometimes, though, the child should be crying. Sometimes feeling the sting of a spanking is how a kid learns that kicking his dad in the shins isn't the best idea. Sometimes the guilt over hurting someone else with thoughtless words is what teaches a child to watch her tongue.

Not too long ago, though, our society recognized that we start becoming adults much earlier; I believe it happens right around age 14. No, you're not even close to perfect, and no, you don't really know everything you think you know. You are capable of deeper relationships, though, and of following dreams and ambitions. You can learn very sophisticated skills at this point. You're both physically and mentally about as developed as you're going to be at that point; the rest is just a matter of experience. We never stop growing, but we do reach a point at which we have to acknowledge our own abilities. As parents, people need to recognize when their children are capable of making decisions for themselves.

In undeveloped societies, children are viewed as assets, not liabilities. It is only when a family has enough money to not need the children for labor that they can afford to educate and release their children. We are extremely privileged and have forgotten that children are a renewable resource.

Yes, they are precious, our future, unique, special, and every other trite way of saying they make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. We should absolutely invest in education and do what we can to make the lives of children better. We should step in to protect them when they have the misfortune to be born to parents who truly abuse them, doing permanent physical damage with malice or insanity. We must remember, though, that they are the property of their parents until they decide to live for themselves.

Now, let's be clear that I'm arguing two sides to this. This is a legal and ethical issue. On the legal side, I don't think the state of Georgia should have a minimum tattooing age with parental consent. I state this especially in light of today's tattoo removal technology, which has come down considerably in price and improved vastly in technique. My understanding is that it can be removed for roughly what it cost and with little or no scarring. On the ethical side, I wouldn't agree to sign for my kid's tattoo until they show me they are mature enough to make adult decisions. No one knows a child better than a loving parent, and it should be up to the family to decide when the time is right.

 

That's my rant for today. I hope, at the least, I've given you something to consider in the wee hours of insomnia.

 

Until tomorrow,
MK